show me the way ;

Sunday, March 29, 2009

~ 3:32 AM ~

Woo! Finally, the end of MBT. It was seriously 2 tiring weeks for me to finish the March Block Test. The first week was the March holidays, busy preparing for the exams especially when I had three days gone due to Dunman's NPCC annual camp. The second week was the block test week. For each day until Wednesday night, I have been sleeping at 2.30am just to finish the revision for the exams. Imagine,having to sleep less hours for 4 consecutive nights. Omg. Oh well, I shouldn't complain too much because I think the rest also went through the same thing.

But then again, after attending Chemistry and Economics MBT post-mortem, I seriously don't think I will get at least an average grade. Really worried for the 5 papers and next week would be a scary week. I suppose, by next week, we should be getting back our results. Just hoping that it won't be that bad.

Anyway,before I come face to face with my results, I have already enjoyed the much needed break after the block test.
On Thursday when my exam ended, we went out for birthday celebration dinner for Clement and Zhang Xiang at EHub! New York New York. Yong Hong was seriously freaking lame when he asked the receptionist whether we need passports to enter. Omg.
On Friday, after NPCC training, 6 of us including myself went to play Left for Dead. It was 3 v 3 but wasn't really exciting as compared to 4 v 4. But, it was still fun with all those shouting and scolding. LOLS!
On Saturday, I wanted to wake up to go Temasek Poly to join the rest for soccer but couldn't wake up because I slept at 3.30am. Then I went to meet Michelle for lunch at EHub! Man Jia Le. I think the last time I saw her was around October? It was kind of nice to see her again. =)

Not too bad although I havent been bowling for two weeks already. Its kind of bad especially when A Div is pushed forward to 27/4. Oh well, time to practice and just chiong for this competition. Jia you guys!

at this point of time
I really do feel helpless
but then again, I would rather try to solve it on my own
as usual: oh well..

我最幸福的事当过你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩饰让我们像当时拥抱最後一次
最幸福的事吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人在左边心口保留位置是最幸福的事

Saturday, March 21, 2009

~ 1:12 AM ~

so after all, I am back to square one
i tried my best
didnt really put in much hope in it
but nevertheless, had that certain amount of hope in it
learnt my lesson previously
never put in high hopes in whatever you do
the higher the hopes, the harder you fall

some might say that I was stupid to continue
some might say that I could give it a try
some might say that I should have tried saying it earlier so that I will know the outcome earlier
but I didn't follow any of their advices
I followed my heart, my thinking

I admit, I don't have much of a skill, a talent or looks
I have nothing to impress anyone
except for my dedication and determination in doing things
I am just someone who is on ad-hoc
when you need someone to talk or sms to at that point of time, you would more likely to find me
when you need someone to accompany you for studies, you would more likely to find me
and once you got your benefits, you would be gone for sometime

maybe when some of you all know what's going on
you will find that I am just wasting my time and find that I am dumb
I don't even care
I will just continue on
whether there would be a positive outcome

I am just numb for anything now
the only thing that I want get it over and done with is MBT
then I would let my feelings take over me
just holding them back and suppressing them now so as not to affect me for next week
I guess, I would go through that similar day which I have gone through in Sec 3 soon.

as much as I try to make things understandable for me only
if you want to know what I am actually talking about
I am sorry as its only for the selected few

am i waiting for a miracle or the person to create that miracle?
我是否在等一个奇迹还是由他创造的奇迹？

Sunday, March 15, 2009

~ 9:00 PM ~

it just had to be removed
who would really believe me 100% that I am not talking about a specific person?
there are bound to have people who will say "yarh..right. He is not talking about a specific person. -.-"
so in any case
I just removed that main section

problems dont seem to be ending for me
not to mention about uncertainties
when my mind is set on doing a certain thing
the positive and negative consequences start to flow in
in the end, nothing is done

really feel like..
it is just not as easy as it seems to be
oh well..

Saturday, March 14, 2009

~ 2:11 AM ~

that sms contained a lot of meaning
if it was what I thought, I am going to regret my actions
sometimes, I do have the urge to say it out
but then again, with the way other things are going on now
I doubt it would be clever action

no lyrics for this post
because I am addicted to a song that really makes me more emo
but! its a peaceful that would really calms you down
thanks CL! =)

Saturday, March 07, 2009

~ 12:18 AM ~

So is it just me or the rest are also the same? February was seriously a pathetic month for me. All I did for that month were homework, prepare for tests, orientation camp, a NTU competition and 2 CCAs. The best of all, I only went out on one Saturday just to eat dinner with my parents. Wow. I seriously don't remember I going out for a walk, shop for tidbits and etc. February is like the month for me to catch up with homework, doing ahead so that I got more time to prepare the tests. The best thing, for almost 2 weeks, I have been doing my homework until I fall asleep on the table, leaving my mp3 and room lights on until I woke up at 6.30am and realising that I had drawn lines on my paper. How nice.

After collecting my A Level Chinese results (to me, it was kind of disappointing), I went bowling with the rest yesterday since there is no NPCC training. My average score dropped because of a damn lousy 3rd game score. Cant believe it. 7 open frames in a row and some of the spares could be gotten easily. But my 2nd game was good! So overall, still ok though. 2 more months to practice and I guess, we would all be ready for A Division.

Doubt I will be updating my blog this month after this post. Need to spend time clearing homework and start studying for March Block Test. Guess this time I am more focused than last year and its about time to change things around.

the urge to say it out
but don't know how to go about doing it
just worried about the outcome
such thing,it has happened once
and there goes the saying once bitten,twice shy
but what if what others said are true?
then again, there's no way to confirm it
jia you to myself bah

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走
你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白