Sunday, December 30, 2007
~ 12:29 AM ~
I don't know what I am thinking these few days lah..
I feel weird at times..
although this is not what I am supposed to feel..
I cant expect much out of it..
but it doesn't seems fair at all..
sometimes I shouldn't rush certain things..
if I would know what would happen now..
I would want to turn back time and maybe change things..
so that everything would be really different..
that weird feeling would not be there..
Saturday, December 29, 2007
~ 1:48 AM ~
I really wished that we can go back to the past..
when we were going on to Sec 3..
that was the start of the strongest friendships that I could ever have..
I am referring to NPCC..
now that the year is about to come to a close..
I wonder when would be the next time that all 11 of us could meet up..
including felicia, wendy and the rest..
all of us are either working or studying..
our time schedules don't coordinate with one another..
when the time is turned back to the past, I would repeat the cycle, turning back to end of Sec 2 till end of Sec 4..
over and over again..
maybe not all of you guys might want it..
but i seriously wanted it..
brothers forever!
everything would be different if I knew what would happen in the future
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
~ 10:08 PM ~
I have been thinking hard for the past few days..
what you see me now is just a facade..
there are too many..
"what if"s..
"maybe"s..
"i shouldn't"s..
"but"s..
doubts..
unknowns..
lies..
rumours..
second hand information..
suspicions..
guessings..
don't ask me what happened..
i won't say and not even you..
sorry..
i doubt i can get an answer out of this sophiscated question..
hais..
~ 9:42 PM ~
I just realised that I have not been updating my blog for the past two weeks. I was either busy or lazy to update. Anyway, we went to Miss Si's wedding lunch at her in-laws' house recently and guess what? We were late and Miss Si had to call to hurry us. I felt bad about it but we went to get her present. Maybe we should bought it the day before. After the lunch, we went to the Bugis Junction and Suntec City. We had dinner at Suntec City Food Junction and this was what I saw.
Oh well, after all I was that cheap and you can get me for just $4. Haha
I was sitting on my bed on Monday during the wee hours in the morning and I looked at my books. It has been a long time since I last opened them to read or even touched them. Looking at those books really brings back memories about how I studied during the Prelims and O' Levels. I was rather amazed by my motivation to study, to do the practice papers, to take extra school papers from the Science teachers, to make appointments with teachers and clarify my doubts, to stay back everyday for Night Study sessions, to go through all the papers again and again, to do TYS and etc. But for now, all I can hope is that the result slip would reflect my effort and hard work put in. A score of 10 for L1R5 would be good enough for me. Going TPJC for the first three weeks or months (I not too sure) is as though going back to DSS again. Although both of them are different schools, but when you stepped out of the gate, you will see the same environment. Zehui was saying that I would be staying in TPJC for the next two years. Choy!
That would not happen! Haha.
Neat as they always are, dusty as they always are not. =x
Saturday, December 08, 2007
~ 4:52 PM ~
Sometimes I wonder what I am interested in. I can say I am interested in songs, but the thing is I don't know where to find the latest songs and other people are hearing those songs. In the end, I am the outdated one. I can say I am interested in games, but what happen? I am always the last one to play or even if I started playing the game, I ranked the last among my friends.
For DOTA, I am always the "food". I tried to improve, but no matter how much I improve, it doesn't change the fact that I am the "food". Yes, some of you might say that "Shawn, you did improve." So what? I don't get that much kill as you guys but there will always be something that I will win all of you. The number of deaths. -.-
For Maple and Gunbound, I started playing Gunbound when I was in Sec 2. At that time, my computer was slow and u might have guessed. Gunbound is an online game and nobody tolerates people with slow computers. In the end, I was being scolded fcuk and I removed Gunbound from my computer.
As for Maple, I started playing it recently when my friends started playing since Sec 2 or even earlier than that. They are all at least level 40 and above now. They encouraged me to train faster so that I can catch up and join them at another area. I wished to do so, but everything seems so far away. I guess by the time I am at level 40, you guys have already lost the passion to play Maple. Besides, some of them said that they will start a new of account and accompany me train and advance together. After a day or so, they are back at their old account, leaving me all alone. I want to experience the joy of playing together, advancing together and helping one another to level or get items. The difference of level between one and another shouldnt be that great either. But this is just a wishful thinking of mine. There is no way that it will never happen. Even if they are willing to start all over, they will make use of their old account resources and boost their new account, leaving me as lousy as ever. Thanks for doing so. =x As you may know, Maple has four different worlds and each world exist on their own, i.e people from world 1 can't contact people from world 2. So when you want to start in world 1, friends ask you to go world 2. In the end, these friends in world 2 are better than you and you have to play catch-up. All these things happened to me and I am always the one who plays the catch-up.
I know that I myself is not a hardcore gamer. My friends all know that I focus on my studies and when they are playing game, they always left me out because they think that I study all the time or give excuses like "I don't know how to contact you" or "I asked the rest to contact you, they didn't contact you arh?". All these excuses are utter nonsense. So what it is during the examination period? I still play games to relax myself. Even the top students in 4A and 4B do play games. I don't see a reason why all of you don't call me to play games. I don't think it is that difficult to pick up the phone and give me a call or even send a sms to me.
I guess I have no one to blame except myself. Blame myself for playing such games this late, blame myself for being so lousy and unable to improve as much as I had expected, blame myself for being the outdated one and not knowing the newest games, blame myself for not improving my old computer which was bought 4 years ago, blame myself for being a noob and blame myself for knowing how to improve the computer constantly and being exposed to these things so late.
Just imagine the feeling of being left out and that is the feeling that I am experiencing now. You may ask me to do something else except gaming. How about you suggest to me what I can do at home when I am not working? If I am going to a JC for the first three months, I can't even start work now because it is too late. I can't even work for a full month. Then again, who doesn't play games in their life? You must be joking to ask me not to play game.
I guess I will always be the last one. Thanks to everyone who makes me think that way. Hais.
Friday, December 07, 2007
~ 12:13 AM ~
I just realized that I have not been blogging for the past few days. I am somehow lazy to blog and besides, I have started playing Maple. Haha. Yes, I know it is a lame game. However it got me addicted and the feeling of wanting to level up faster keeps me playing it whenever I turn on the computer. I think I may stop playing after this month. I don't even know whether I can go to a JC for the first three months. If I do enter a JC, I have to start studying already. Since it is a 2 years education, most of the topics will be taught in J1. I have learnt my lesson for not paying full attention in Sec 3 and ended up asking teachers about Sec 3 work when I am in Sec 4.
Two days ago, I went for the NPCC Chalet at Costa Sands (Downtown East). It was a last gathering for the Sec 4s before Aaron and Kah Hwee go for their CIBTC at HTA. They had to attend a 9-day course at HTA, rest for a day before going to Pulau Ubin for their ATC. Lastly, they will have their Passing Out Parade on the 22/12. Jia you!
The chalet seems to be rather quiet without both of them. And the air-conditioner in the room was practically useless. The room was super hot that the outside was even cooler than inside the room. Then we went to eat Mcdonalds' at about 1.45am, chatted at there before going back to the chalet. When we were at Mac, Royce was trying to stretch his back but guess what happen? His elbow knocked against the wall and his face immediately showed the "pain" expression. LOL! By the time we went back to the chalet, it was about 5am. We wanted to watch sun-rise, but we ended up skipping it as it was raining in the early morning. After we check-out, we went for breakfast before playing at the arcade. The Sec 3s insisted on going to either Escape Theme Park or Wild Wild Wet so they waited for the rain to stop. The sec 4s left first as most of us didn't sleep at all when at the chalet. In the end, the Sec 3s and Sec 2s went to Wild Wild Wet and played most of the rides despite the rainy condition.
Well, the chalet wasn't as fun as other chalets that I have been to but it was enjoyable to see most of the Sec 3s and Sec 4s gather together. After all, the sec 4s have left the school and it would be difficult for all of us to gather together again.
It has been raining for the past few days and it doesn't seems to be stopping for the next few days. No outdoor activities and going out to places is difficult as there is no shelter from my house to the bus stop. However, such rainy days make sleeping a very good activity when we are bored.
Well, I think I should end here and jump onto my cosy bed. I still need to wake up early tomorrow to attend SPDS training in school.
